Of Books And Life

I am not an educationist and I really don't know whether our education system really delivers. But I loved school. I loved school especially because it exposed me to all kind of people. And learning about people is one major life lesson. This is because people are the main component of life.

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My mother while commenting on books would say, "people are books; letters from God. You can learn a lot from people". And true to her words, people are a vast reservoir of resources and wealth. No wonder I love observing people. I love watching people. Tracking their lives. And, I do learn a lot. 

School exposed me to all kinds of people. Little flowers budding. No one really knew what life had in store for any of us. And every time I observe how life unfolds for different people, it gives me perspective. It really hits me hard when you receive the bad news that so and so is no more. Why does it always happen that those that I never imagined dead, die? Or you meet the guy who tied the knot on the number line every end term and he challenges you to the core. Life truly is unpredictable. And when the unknown becomes know in hindsight, it humbles me. Who would have known?

I have tried to reconnect with most of the people we shared something while growing up, some were my classmates, others were village mates, others were work mates while others were church mates. All kind of people. And it amazes me that I can actually pick out something valuable I learnt from them. One day I write out my lessons from different people and I am so sure many of them will not believe. I have learnt so much from people. Lessons they may never be aware they passed to me and that have stuck with me.

Last week I was thinking about this girl I schooled with in primary school. She was so academically challenged the school administration would push her to the next class just to have her clear school now that her age mates were way ahead of her. I caught up with her in class seven and she was pushed to class eight. This girl had never really passed any test in her entire life. It was such a surprise when for once she beat us all by passing the pregnancy test and graduated to the highest education, motherhood. I wonder how life eventually turned out for her. 

And as I keep reading books, interacting with people and learning from them, I have come to understand that true success is not in getting ahead of others. True success is in getting ahead of yourself.

Important Notice

I have struggled in getting a title for this post. This is because it is difficult to summarize what I want to talk about.

Read the sentences below and take time to 
feel them. Feel each sentence independently without being influenced by the previous one.

1.  You are not important.
2. Are you really important?
3. You are important!
4.  You are really important.

I hope you have managed to feel each sentence independently. The truth is, the feeling you felt about the first sentence influenced the others. To most of us, the first sentence kinda really penetrated inside, making the rest unimportant!

Before coming up with this exercise, I was analyzing how most people feel about being important. One thing I realized is that most people’s importance is affirmed by other people, especially people we look up to. We all speak to ourselves, affirming who we are. But have you realized how sometimes our own voice is not as powerful as the voice of others?

We have all struggled with a notorious mosquito. The kind of mosquito that makes you wonder, are mosquitoes important? And as much as we might feel as if mosquitoes are not important, their importance is not determined by our opinion of the same.

Some people don’t feel as if they are important. Yet if you told them in the face that they are not important, affirming their inner voice, they would get really offended and become defensive, a feeling produced by the first sentence above.

Other people really feel important. And most of these people feel important because of something external. An accomplishment, a recognition, a status or something. And if a stranger who was not aware of who they are came and told them in the face that they are important, it would feel awkward. This is because their importance is tied to something known. And if they lost that thing, they would feel unimportant.

It therefore seems the issue of importance is really a personal issue. And when I was thinking about it on a personal level, I realized how unimportant I have felt because my inner voice was not as powerful as the external voices. It is as if someone telling me am important has a greater value than I, who knows myself better, telling it to myself. And to some extent I would find myself wanting to hear someone tell me I am important.

And imagine if I had titled this blog post with either of the four sentences. Had I titled it.. You are not important.. Those I know and who expect me to know they are important would have felt bad, those who are doubting their importance would have sought to look for an affirmation and those who I don’t know would have wanted to prove that I am wrong. Had I titled this blog post.. You are important, those I know, seeking an affirmation would have felt really good to read on, those who I don’t know and they feel important would have ignored while most people would think it is just a cliché.

Now, what if I had titled it… I am not important… So many of you would feel so sorry for me… and wonder why I feel this way. Others would actually agree.

The essence of this post is to encourage you to know that you are important. And your importance is not pegged to something external as much as is, your intrinsic value. We should learn to believe in who we are and be impervious of the external voices that may or may not agree with us. We should give more weight to the voice in our heart more than the voice of others. That our importance is first and foremost ours to feel, to know, to be.

Could it be being that being important is not something to feel? Could it be something to know, like head knowledge? Just a thought.

Are you important? You tell it to yourself!

When I Look at Them

If there is one thing I have learnt from my simple complicated life is how to look at people. There are different grids through which human being view other human beings. These include tribe, nationality, religion, skin color, body type, sexuality, social class, up bring among other. There is also a tendency to view other human beings informed by the way we perceive ourselves.

But I have learnt to see myself in other people. Regardless of whom it is, I see their struggles, their dreams and their humanness just like me. A person who has a life to live, questions to find answers to, a heart to be loved and accepted, a quest to have a good life and a hope in the future. At the point, every other aspect just wither away.

When I look at people I want feel them.