For How Long?

For how long will I look at the Mirror

And see I am still the guy I dont want to be?

Like a broken glass, pieces scattered

Can I really be fixed?

For how long will I speak these awesome words

Words that  don’t match my lifestyle?

Like an ever talking radio,

Can I really become?

For how long will I keep falling and rising,

Getting dirty while still in the shower?

It feels like a just washed silly pet

Can I really get clean, for once?

For how long shall I wander

Never getting to my destination?

Like a vagabond roaming all over

Can I really arrive?

For how long shall I remain scattered

Weak and weary and never gathering?

Like a cup of spilled milk

Can i ever be collected?

I am tired of this life

I am tired of this song

I am tired of this me

I am tired of it all

I have to become,

I have to gather

I have to be fixed

I have to get it

Once and for all

I have to confluence

I Once Wanted

I wanted to be known, to be famous
To be adored, a demi god.
I wanted to be popular, admired
To have it all, to have it big

I wanted to matter
To be the in thing
The big thing on airwaves
The sensation on social media
The most sought after talent
I wanted to turn heads as I walk on the streets
To know that I got it all.

I wanted to speak and be listened to
To ever be right and perfect
To be it

Then I heard them speak
That it is not about me but God
And it pierced my heart deep
Why is He that selfish?
All glory to him?
I wanted some

And so I stopped
I stopped dreaming
I stopped trying to be
I was ok with being nothing
I was ok not mattering
I hid and remained ordinary

But now I know better
I know where to hide, where to be found
I know why He is selfish, I can see what he means
And I want to be part of that meaning

I will do may best and be the best
I will be his slave, his servant, his delight
I will position self to reflect his light as much
I will be aggressive to get hold of his call
I will move forward and desire greater spheres
I will seek his kingdom and its righteousness


And I will do this for him
Knowing they might reject me
Knowing I may not be sought after
Rather be despised
Knowing I may not be the in thing
I may never be a big sensation
But I will still do it

And in case all I ever wanted came true
It will not for me be
But for him who got hold of me
For I once wanted, but now I know.

Lowballing

Many ways of killing a cat

You can strangle with a mat

Use a poisoned rat

Or hit with a bat.

All with purpose

Is all I suppose

But

The process to the production

The journey to the destination

Without stagnation

Embracing migration

To conquer the nations

Is not imaginations

So,

No short cut

For the core to cut

To kill the cat.

To the furthest

Life is like a sling shot

The furthest you stretch from

The furthest you are likely to go

Watokao mbali

Huenda furthest!

Aint Just a Hanger

You watch me as I gracefully glide through the run way

You admire the way the piece of art perfectly fits in my body

You wish you could the same way bring it out.

And as I turn, and sway, and pose

You applause and sarcastically clap

You think am just a piece of hanger

Aint just a hanger

But a package of beauty

Oozing from within to the outside.

And as I run through the run way

Let it run in your mind

Am not just a hanger

Heal me oh Lord

Heal me oh Lord

From my dark memories

That haunts my soul and heart

Heal me oh Lord

From the bitterness endowed in my system

That destroys my bones

Heal me oh Lord

From the inadequacies in my mind

That dwarfs my progress

Heal me oh Lord

From the tendencies of my pulse

To skip a beat while running into ruins

Heal me oh Lord

From my past experiences

That imprisons me

Heal me oh Lord

That I may live in freedom and wisdom

That all within me, deep waters

May spring out as a joyful fountain

To wet and soak my soul and mind

In the joy of a healthy living

Embracing the great future ahead

The Bananas are Gone

The bananas have gone

And we have all gone bananas

Suckers of thumbs

Gazing in agony

For hope lies in suckers

Who will replace the bananas?

Where are the suckers?

Some went off on pruning

Others refused to grow

The farmer never tended

Goats and cows let in the garden

The cow was to be milked

But who is to blame?

Rise up and grow

Learn today

The lessons of tomorrow

For bananas are gone

And we need suckers

Lest we forever go bananas!

Formulas

Formulas are for the baby
As they wean to solid foods
When the stomach is feeble and weakly
The intestines yet to handle the loads
The hardness of life

Formulas are for the baby
Who wants things easy to do
Who prefer manna to the hustle
Who can’t carry his cross daily
But wants a joy ride to the hunting

Formulas may work now
Formulas may not work then
When you need to discover
When you need to become
When you need to give a pattern
When you need to lead

Formulas are for those after you
When you set the standard
When you have borne
Creating a totally new world

The City Clock

My friend the city clock

Is very focused

In all directions

He is faced.

My friend the city clock

Is very strategic

At the junctions and roundabouts

He is positioned.

My friend the city clock

Is very punctual

All the days

He is timely.

My friend the city clock

Is very busy

Throughout the day

His hands are moving.

My friend the city clock

Is very friendly

All the people

Rely on him

My friend the city clock

Is of a large family

All over the city

Building the nation

Doing community service.

My friend the city clock

Is very organized

Though a large family

In different locations

Doing the same thing

At the same time

Wow!

My friend the city clock

What a community.

Am Afraid, Am Afraid Not!

Am afraid am not afraid

Am afraid am afraid

Let’s just say am afraid

Am afraid am not afraid to die

Unless I lose my life, I can never gain it.

Am afraid am not afraid to be laughed at

Laughter is medicine to their bones

Am afraid am not afraid to be myself

Jesus only crime was love; him being himself

Am afraid am not afraid to be poor

Naked I came, Naked shall I return

Am afraid am not afraid things may fall apart

On the solid rock I stand

But am afraid

Am afraid am afraid to be rich

What if I gained the whole world and lost my soul?

Am afraid am afraid of labels

I live on the border and everywhere in between

What if I don’t fit in?

Am afraid am afraid of life

The much give, the much required

What if I lose it for keeping it?

Am afraid, Am afraid not

Let’s just say am afraid

The Future is Now

Don’t wait for the inevitable

If it’s something you want

Why say some day I’ll be able to

Or in a few years

If it’s something you believe

It’s inevitable and worthwhile

Try doing it now

Rather than later.

On The Knees

You have pursued her in vain

The chase now becoming a pain

You know she is into you

Yet she is acting a fool

You wish to get her on her knees

By trying all the tricks and skills

Be a man, be a lion

Get your knees on

Take it to God in prayer

And you will know who’s the player

The Red Dot

The red dot on Japan’s flag

A mark of aggression for a tiny island

A reminder that I can get it right first time

A sign that the strength is not always in the might

The red dot on Japan’s flag fuels me to quality

The red dot on the Hindu’s face

A mark of reincarnation for the after life

A reminder that I choose what to be next time

A sign that what I do today affects my tomorrow

The red dot on the Hindu’s face motivates me to character

The red dot on the traffic light

A mark of stillness for a moment

A reminder that haste could lead to danger

A sign of order while approaching a roundabout

The red dot on the traffic light sobers my mind to decisiveness

The red dot on the TV remote control

A mark of power; on and off button

A reminder that it just takes a thumb punch

A sign of will to open up a new world

The red dot on the TV remote control provokes self control

The red dot on the extension cable

A mark of current that is flowing

A reminder that I can run a big machine

A sign of making work easier

The red dot on the extension cable quickens me to relationships

Was I Sorry?

I stood at kencom sipping coke.

On my last sip I sneezed.

My mouth contents landed on a pretty lady’s hair and back.

I thought that was funny and I laughed sheepishly.

But from the look on the lady’s face, I felt ashamed and sorry.

Not that the content messed her up, but that I laughed.

Was I really sorry?

I wonder coz I kept laughing all the way home

A day; be interested

The spectacular sunrise that no longer startles our eyes

The fresh morning breeze that no longer awaken our nerves

The melodious singing birds that no longer inspire our days

Instead, the honks and the alarm clock

The aromatizing sunset that no longer appetites our taste buds

Life is to gain, to gather, to farther, to no end

We’ve been robbed of life’s glory; how did we get here?

No longer experience a staggering life;

How did we get this nasty? This hasty?

Not that life aint staggering anymore

But we are so used, we feel nothing.

Like brats, we no longer are impressed

No longer impressed with the gifts freely given

It’s just another day, another week, another year

It’s just another child being born, just another funeral

It’s just another person next in the bus, just another guy

How did we get this nasty? This hasty?

(long pause)

Life is staggering

Life is beautiful

Be interested

Take time and let

Let life’s beauty unfold

And in moments of nothingness

Life is magnificently beautiful

The Day Dreamer’s Dream Days

I spend most of my days daydreaming

One day I will sell the stuff I create in my day dreams

And I will make loads and loads of money

And maybe then I will not be ashamed

I will be living my dream days

But maybe am just day dreaming

I spend most of my hours day dreaming

Of this great story I will write

Of living a different kind of life

Of a kinder life, less abstract

Of a better man, a better husband

And I am interrupted by the reality of my life

But maybe am not just day dreaming

I spend most of my seconds day dreaming

And this second I interrupt that thought

And I gaze at the beauty of it all            

Coz deep down in my heart

I know it’s more than day dreaming

It’s the appetite of the life that beckons

When all these daydreams become my dream days.