I Once Wanted

I wanted to be known, to be famous
To be adored, a demi god.
I wanted to be popular, admired
To have it all, to have it big

I wanted to matter
To be the in thing
The big thing on airwaves
The sensation on social media
The most sought after talent
I wanted to turn heads as I walk on the streets
To know that I got it all.

I wanted to speak and be listened to
To ever be right and perfect
To be it

Then I heard them speak
That it is not about me but God
And it pierced my heart deep
Why is He that selfish?
All glory to him?
I wanted some

And so I stopped
I stopped dreaming
I stopped trying to be
I was ok with being nothing
I was ok not mattering
I hid and remained ordinary

But now I know better
I know where to hide, where to be found
I know why He is selfish, I can see what he means
And I want to be part of that meaning

I will do may best and be the best
I will be his slave, his servant, his delight
I will position self to reflect his light as much
I will be aggressive to get hold of his call
I will move forward and desire greater spheres
I will seek his kingdom and its righteousness


And I will do this for him
Knowing they might reject me
Knowing I may not be sought after
Rather be despised
Knowing I may not be the in thing
I may never be a big sensation
But I will still do it

And in case all I ever wanted came true
It will not for me be
But for him who got hold of me
For I once wanted, but now I know.