Of Books And Life

I am not an educationist and I really don't know whether our education system really delivers. But I loved school. I loved school especially because it exposed me to all kind of people. And learning about people is one major life lesson. This is because people are the main component of life.

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My mother while commenting on books would say, "people are books; letters from God. You can learn a lot from people". And true to her words, people are a vast reservoir of resources and wealth. No wonder I love observing people. I love watching people. Tracking their lives. And, I do learn a lot. 

School exposed me to all kinds of people. Little flowers budding. No one really knew what life had in store for any of us. And every time I observe how life unfolds for different people, it gives me perspective. It really hits me hard when you receive the bad news that so and so is no more. Why does it always happen that those that I never imagined dead, die? Or you meet the guy who tied the knot on the number line every end term and he challenges you to the core. Life truly is unpredictable. And when the unknown becomes know in hindsight, it humbles me. Who would have known?

I have tried to reconnect with most of the people we shared something while growing up, some were my classmates, others were village mates, others were work mates while others were church mates. All kind of people. And it amazes me that I can actually pick out something valuable I learnt from them. One day I write out my lessons from different people and I am so sure many of them will not believe. I have learnt so much from people. Lessons they may never be aware they passed to me and that have stuck with me.

Last week I was thinking about this girl I schooled with in primary school. She was so academically challenged the school administration would push her to the next class just to have her clear school now that her age mates were way ahead of her. I caught up with her in class seven and she was pushed to class eight. This girl had never really passed any test in her entire life. It was such a surprise when for once she beat us all by passing the pregnancy test and graduated to the highest education, motherhood. I wonder how life eventually turned out for her. 

And as I keep reading books, interacting with people and learning from them, I have come to understand that true success is not in getting ahead of others. True success is in getting ahead of yourself.

Milk Gone Bad

I have just had a glass of sour milk. Actually truly speaking the milk got spoilt and could not make what it was intended to. Some of it was given to the pigs and we kept just a few litres for ourselves. Not everyone wants to take this milk. Some say, it is bad milk, others say it is smelly rotty. I think it is fine.

Did you know a ripe banana is a green banana going bad but we hijack the rotting process and eat them and say, hurray, that banana was yummy! That banana was fresh.

And did you know you can never eat anything fresh? Let me say that again, we eat dead things. Slaughtered animals or cut down plants. And is water dead or alive?

Others say you are what you eat. True maybe, but what are you when you are fasting. And is aging a process of keeping fresh or a process of rotting?

Things are not as they are. They are as we are.

Cheers to another glass of bad milk!

What a fresh drink!

Yummy!

Silent Night.... Really?

I don't understand how the night Jesus was born could have been a silent night. I don't understand. First of all the government being a government asks her citizens to go back to their home towns for census. It's like being asked to go shags for voting. Joseph and Mary must have been in their late teens, young in marriage and almost due for delivery. I have tried to imagine their circumstance.

I can imagine when the labor pains started and Joseph tried looking for a decent place for delivery. Delivery of God's son. And as he hustled from one inn to another, the places were fully booked. Mary must have wondered what kind of husband she had who cannot anticipate situations. I mean, he should have made earlier arrangements for his expectant, almost due wife. But I imagine he was not that sharp.

I can imagine when he came with the news that every decent place was booked and Mary was here screaming in pain. They must have panicked. I imagine what was going through her mind. How can I be delivering the savior of the world in this situation? She must have felt inadequate. And even as they decided on the cow shed, it was a decision they made out of no choice. Mary must have screamed the loudest and Joseph had no other option but to find a place to let her deliver; and it was in the manger. And who was the midwife? It must have been his not so sharp Joseph.

And then you tell me about a silent night??? Think again. I don't see any silence at all. The birth of the saviour was full of chaos, hard questions, difficult realities and trying circumstances. But in all this, He was born healthy.

And that is how most things born of God get delivered. In situations where you are not understanding the circumstances surrounding you, when the reality is difficult and the situation is not as expected. But if we keep pushing and keep the right heart posture, God will always make it happen for us. I think Mary is on of the most humble of being we read about in the bible. She is delivering the savior of the world and all she can say is .... be it unto me according to your word. And even when the worst came to worse she accepted her circumstances knowing so well that God's word must come to pass. If we lose anything else, let it not be the word we have from the Lord.

How do you Unwind?

Have you ever been so worked out by things and you feel you just need to see a therapist to off load? Those are the times I miss being a catholic, I would just go for confession and tell the father everything that is bothering me. But I have learnt there is nothing as therapeutic as just chatting with a friend, who listens genuinely and who creates a moment. Regardless of the activity the two of us share, in the end I just feel so refreshed and re-energized. We all need that. 

I was reading the book of Job the other day and I picked out the same. When disaster struck, Job’s friend came and sat with him seven days and seven nights without saying a word, just there with him because they could see his pain. This demonstrates the power of being there with someone and creating a moment. Later Job starts venting ( I like calling it bi**hing though am not allowed to use such words) by cursing the day he was born, asking questions about life and the troubles man faces as he tries to remain blameless. After every chapter or two of venting, we get another chapter of one of his friends trying to sober him up. And this continues for some time.

How do you vent? How do you unwind? How do you release the pressure and the tension you accumulate everyday from work and life? 

I have noted many people have not discovered the need to vent and the ways to do it. When we go back to Job, you will see the way he vents but he doesn’t charge God with any wrongdoings. We also see his friends trying to sober him up so that he doesn’t cross the borders. We also see Job recognizing the sovereignty of God especially when he tells the wife; why are you talking like a foolish woman, should we accept good from God and not trouble? I mean, Job understands God beyond his circumstances and though he vents out in anger and frustrations, he know his life is in God.

Often a time if we are lucky to have friends we can vent out with, we always fall short and cross the boundaries and we end up defiling ourselves. Some friends will go out for drinks and dancing as a way of venting and the find themselves worse off than they were. Some friends will hook up nicely just to turn into a gossip club. It is important to be vigilant.

Other people will not vent at all. They bottle things up inside them and they keep carrying heavy burdens. Life can be tough we all agree, and we don’t have the capacity to carry every load. It is wise we learnt to let go. Find something that allows you to release pressure and tension. It could be a walk in the evening, a sport, a hobby or just a silent moment away from every noise. It could be a chat with a refreshing buddy. It could be jotting down your feelings; It can also be a moment of worship and prayer, where you pour out your heart and your mind to God. Whatever it is, just make sure you have it.

And when life gets tough, always remember that Jesus is asking you to cast all your burdens to him for he cares for you. He carried all our burdens so that we can be free. And when we take up his burden, it easy and his yoke is smooth. 

But never ever bottle up things in your heart. Because according to Job, resentment kills a fool and envy slays the simple. And the wise man in proverb says; bitterness rots the bones. Let go off all bitterness, frustrations and pain, and let God be enough and sufficient for you.

Let’s be friends.

Is it just me or do you find it easier to connect with strangers than people you already know, especially if they are online friends. It so easy to chat online than to chat real time with people. How come?

What happened to friendship? I mean, nowadays we have to qualify friendship with term like; real friend, true friend, long term friend, necessary friend, seasonal friend, reasonal friend and beshte. And for those who don’t know, beshte is the kind word we call people who assume we are friends yet we deeply know they are just acquaintances or convenient people in our lives. Friendship should not be qualified. It just needs to be.

Human beings are social people but so are animals. It’s just a natural thing to want other people’s company around us. The challenge nowadays is who do you keep in your circles? It’s is very difficult to have friends nowadays, and that is why we end up qualifying them.

I have never been a good friend. It’s something I have been learning over time. When I was growing up I was very competitive. And I ensured I remain on top no matter what. And if for some reason my friend defeated me in something, I would stop being their friend. And so, I never made a long term friendship. I always envy those people who have developed and kept their childhood friendship into adulthood. I don’t have such. I was never a good friend, I was a selfish friend, and I only made friends to those I could gain something from.

I was reading Luke 5: 17-20. I was amazed by the kind of friendship portrayed. The story is about a paralytic man who when his friends found that it was crowded inside the house where Jesus was, they made a way through the roof just to make sure they get in. If it were me, I would have timed Jesus when he was leaving and avoid the hassle of going up the roof. 

This story demonstrates the quality of a friend that I want to be; that I can have so much faith in Jesus to do anything to bring my friends to him, that I will not have excuses not to do that which will add value to my friends. Look at David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 20, they had a pleasurable friendship that was sworn with each other in the Lord. That’s the kind I am looking for.

Jesus while talking to his disciples John 15: 14-15. You are my friends if you do what I command, I no longer call you servants, because servants do not know his master’s business. Instead, I call you friends, for everything I have learnt from the father I have made known to you.NIV Even Jesus is looking for friends. He wants to work with friends not servants.

We are need a friend or two. And as I ponder on the issue of friendship, I am encouraging myself to be the kind of friend that I am looking for. Although I am still qualifying my friends, I hope one day I will not need to do that.

Do you know Zephaniah?

How many of you have read the book of Zephaniah in the bible? Let me see by the show of hands. I can bet very few of us have. But who wants to read a book that starts with words like I will sweep away everything from the face of the earth declares the Lord? That’s not the kind of words we want to hear. Zephaniah is one of the prophets and he was just doing his work, don’t take it personal.

I was just imagining when you get to heaven and then after shaking hands and hugging your favorite guys like Abraham and then Zephaniah comes over to say hi, what kind of conversation would you have? Hey, am Zephaniah, how did you find my book? Zepha what? Which book? For heaven’s sake, kindly read that book, and avoid such embarrassments in heaven.

Not everything we do will be noticed, but that doesn’t mean it’s not important. We have a culture that promotes feedback and rating. But one thing I have come to learn about feedback and rating, they have become a way of seeking validation. I have been a victim of this. When I do an article and I open my blog just to find ten page reviews. And at time I get discouraged and I feel like what I am doing is worthless. Or when no one comments on anything and I feel like am shallow.

I have also noticed how sometimes I want to be rated. What do people think about me and stuff? And then I got to think about Zephaniah, what does he feel when he sees most Christians have no interest in his book. I mean, when was the last time you heard someone quote from the book of Zephaniah?

What am I saying? Sometimes God will give you tasks and you will not have a chance to get feedback or rating. You will remain in the dark without knowing how you are doing. But that should not stop you or discourage you. Keep doing your assignment and leave the rest to God.

It’s like when you witness and share the word of the Lord with someone, and no one seems to ever accept Christ from you preaching to them. How does that make you feel? Remember its God who saves. Just plant the seed and God will water it, don’t concern yourself with that which is not important or within your jurisdiction. And when we learn that, we shall not water down the word of God to try and accommodate the world. We shall just do our part, knowing that Jesus is able to save people his own way, without compromising his word. And if you have been feeling like all you have been doing is fruitless, keep on keeping on. Be a faithful steward, your reward is with God.

What is the meaning of life?

If there is one question I ask myself over and over is what is the meaning of life? Anyone with an answer? I would love to know. I have met people in their seventies who are still trying to figure out life and what to do with themselves. Yet I have met people in their twenties who seem to know what they want with their lives and are kinda set to go. They seem to have figured it.

Have you ever read the wisest counsel of Solomon? He is recorded as one of the wisest men in the history of the world. But honestly I don't like him. Not like I hate him, it's those feelings you can't figure out, you just no it's not love. How can he say everything is meaningless? Is that wisdom really? That's not the kind of thing you tell people. What's up with this dude? It's like the government telling the poor that they will always be poor unless they learn how to be self reliant. They can't do that, the poor would riot. Or why do you think every day on the news someone is saying.. naomba serikali?

Sometimes we want to be lied to. We at times enjoy lying to ourselves. Who wants pain? Apart from some numb freaks who feel nothing. But an ordinary human being seeks pleasure and avoids pain, yet the truth is said to hurt. And maybe that is why we have no idea what is the meaning of life. Because right down our hearts we are afraid to hurt when we figure out the truth.

Today morning I was reading a very interesting book and the writer was also asking the same question. What is the meaning of life? But I like his thinking. Having grown up in a war torn country, all he knew was hate and violence. He couldn't figure the meaning of life having seen the brutality of soldiers killing innocent people. But one day he picked a broken mirror from an accident scene. As a boy, he smooth-en-ed the edges into a small circle and he would play with it. He would use it to reflect the light in dark places as a game and he learnt the meaning of life. He still have the mirror in his pocket.

He learnt that we are not the source of light, but we are created to reflect light. God is the light and he created us to reflect his glory, his wisdom and his light to dark places. Ours is just to position ourselves right, to tap His light and in thus doing we shall bring forth hope and light to those around us. All we do in life is okay, is brilliant, is great, but it is meaningless if we cannot reflect the glory of God. Let everything you do, not just be a chase after the wind, but rather let it bring people to a place of light, a place of strength and a place of hope.

Arise and shine for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you. See darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the peoples. But the Lord rises upon you and His glory appears over you. Nations will come to your light and kings to the brightness of your dawn. Isaiah 60: 1-3 NIV

Where do babies come from?

Children are the most innocent and inquisitive creatures in the earth. Their minds are open to learning and into understanding the world around them. As they grow up, depending on the environment, some tend to become less inquisitive and their minds closes. While others will have an open mind that is eager to learn throughout their life.

The role of training the children has always been on the parent. But with the advancing in the modern family, the teachers have replaced the parents. Actually most of the children, learn very little from their parents. They have their peers to tell them like it is, their teachers to rush through the syllabus and outweigh them with homework and exams, and TV that is the center of conversation in most households, not forgetting we are in the information age, where children can google for answers.

Communication between parents and their children keeps reducing. What remains is when the child is asking for something, and some will even text or send an email to an ever busy parent. But we can't blame the parents, the workplace has become very demanding and the cost of living is also high. So we have to bring bread home.

Nevertheless, there is no greater teacher than a parent. When parents learn to share their stories, frankly and openly. When children have friends in their parents, to confide in and to just share their lives without the feeling of obligation, but because it is a way of life in their family. Sometimes, we protect our children too much, they end up growing crippled. And mind you, most of our parents have a wealth of experience, from social issues, economic issues to every aspect of life. And if only they were able to share with their kids, they can empower them beyond what they are receiving from school.

I am lucky to have had parents who were easy to talk to. When I was in eighteen, my dad actually brought me a pack of condoms to arm me. He could have been late, but I really appreciated his efforts. He was frank with me that things happen unexpectedly even to those who are born again. Especially since I was living alone. And as much as other parents would argue he should have been telling me how to abstain till marriage, he knew better having had impregnated a girl in his teenage life. So, his perspective was from his own experience and his own life not necessary the ideal situation. And honestly, if we didn't  have a close friendly relationship with him, I would have interpreted his good intentions wrongly, as if he didn't trust me, since he knew I was set to keep myself till marriage.

This is just an example of many other things I was able to receive from my parent's lives. Their struggles, their failure and such, and so when they gave an advice, it was easy to take it because I understood where they came from.

I am involved in the teens ministry and at times I feel sorry for some of the teens whose parents live in the ideals and who never share their stories with their kids. I know teenage life is complicated, but a wise parent will keep his or her children closer than try to push them away by portraying a perfect life as if they too didn't have complications when they were teenagers. And it is even more challenging now, because teens know so much than their parents give them credit for. To the parents out there. You have no idea what your innocent looking sweet baby knows. And whether you like it or not, that which you are not telling your daughter, someone is going to tell her.

Most children are tired of all the things money is buying for them. They want quality time with their parents. They want to know and feel that their parents love them, that their parents are proud of them, that their parents listen to them. But nowadays all we do is give our children pressure of what they ought to achieve and in case they are not achieving as expected, we ask them what they are lacking. (Material things). Sometimes all you need to do is encourage them, let them share what is going on and be there to listen without judging and then give wise counsel.

For some reason, children will always ask their parents where babies come from? For some reason, parents always tell their children babies are bought in the shop. The sad thing is, as our children grow, we never update them. And so they get to hear from else where and they lose their trust in you as a parent.

Anyway, my brother and I asked my mother where babies come from. You don't want to know what she told us. Talk about creativity!!

Of Pee and Poop

For some reason I have been feeling very guilty every time I flush my toilet. Using three to four liters of clean water to push pee and poop to the sewage drain, yet thousands of family in my continent can’t access clean water for basic use each day. I wish I felt nothing, but honestly it has been eating me up.

When my real estate dream materialize, I will build houses that have a tank that collects used water from the kitchen sink, hand washing sink and the laundry room, filter it and re-use the water to flush the toilet.

Meanwhile, I will have to figure out how to deal with this feeling, or I could recapture my childhood escapades of manure-ing the earth!

In the words of Lord Baden Powell “Let it not be said of you in shame when you are gone, that there was much beauty here before you came. Leave the world a better place than you found it”.

Life is a big joke

Life is a big joke, lighten up and enjoy the humor.

It has not always been easy to enjoy life, there is school to be done, exams to pass, skills to acquire, money to make, families to raise and dreams to achieve. We have serious things to do with life. And as we pursue those important things, it so easy to become serious and forget to laugh at the joke that life is.

Sometimes in life I detour, but I have learnt, even when am at the worst and I can’t figure out life or when I have lost my way, the least I can do is enjoy the scenery. And as I get inspired by nature, I find myself finding the way again. But I have met people who, when they detour, they become bitter, resentful and angry. It doesn’t help and such vices never move you forward. Who cares if you have lost your way? Haven’t you heard of how one way leads to another? And how life is a circle, a sign of eternity, without an end or a beginning? Haven’t noticed how we always find ourselves in the same place we’ve been all over again. And we wish we didn’t move at all. I find that funny!

And that is my point. You can never take life too serious not to enjoy it. We have to create moments of simplicity; a cup of tea shared in laughter with your wife, a walk with a buddy that sobers you up and reciting silly rhymes with your kids or nieces and be a kid again.

Life is not the things we do, it’s the moments we create. And so when things are tough and not working out, and we have no power over it, we can create moments of joy and hope to defy the prevailing circumstances.

But how do you do it when everyone is busy and life moving fast. I wonder with all the hurry, where are you going? Most often we miss out our moments of life in a rush to reach out a mirage. We have lost the art of stillness, depth and reflection. We cannot enjoy the pleasure of doing nothing. How many of us work even when on a holiday? How many days can you survive offline? No phone, no internet, no media, nothing?

Nevertheless, you must always take care with humor. It’s so easy to laugh at a joke until you realize, the joke is on you!

Casts of Character

Of late I have been thinking and wondering if the bible was being written now or in my lifetime, would I appear as a character? I may not have the answer to that question but I have learnt to do the best with my life. I am human and I have enough flaws. But again, who of the heroes of faith didn’t have?

Abraham is the father of faith, but he once failed the test of faith when he took a short cut to getting a son. David, a man after God owns heart, committed murder, adultery and such stuff. And Peter, the disciple of Jesus had his own dumb issues. What am I saying?

God has never worked with perfect people. He works with normal human being. But one of the common denominator in all of these characters is their pressing on towards a mark of higher calling. Even after falling short, they rose and pursued God. Another common attribute was faith. Faith is evident in most of these characters by defying their present conditions.

If I were Joseph and my brothers did all they did to him, I wonder how that story would have turned out. But this character Joseph, foolishly believed in God and that faith in his God, kept him all through the trying moments and sustained him in his glorious days. Do I know God?

Look at Joseph the father of Jesus. Your virgin fiancé is all of a sudden pregnant. You know how you have ‘chilled’. And her story is not so convincing. Yet, when the angel of the Lord came through a dream to Joseph that he should not divorce the girl silently, he had faith in God. He didn’t have all the details, but he knew his God. He had faith in Him. That is what I need.

Noah builds the ark for 120 years. People laughed at him until he entered it. Then, it dawned on them. Damn, this old man was all along true. In my generation, I have laughed at my aunt who dresses our little pretty cousins in a turban and long dresses, I laughed at Ras on TV trying to explain his way of life, I have loved at girls saving themselves for marriage, I have laughed at a preacher during our high school CU service. I have laughed at the foolishness of faith.

Though we fall short of the expectation, God is looking at the internal posture. How we view Him. How we perceive him. And so I have learnt to guard my heart, that even when I don’t figure out things, I cannot lose faith in God. After all, we can never please God without faith. That is the secret.

And now that I know, I want to be a character in God’s word for my generation. For whether you like it or not, God uses everyone. He can either use you as an example or a warning.