Thursday, June 30, 2011

Scarcity Mentality

If there is something that irritates me is when am in a jav and it runs out of fuel especially when they have overcharged the passengers. I just don’t get it. You can’t say you don’t have money because the tout has a batch in his hand and even if you can blame a broken fuel gauge, you should be able to gauge how far your fuel can stretch if you are a good driver.

I have met so many people who are affected by a scarcity mentality. This is the mentality that makes you think that you can never have enough. And such people tend to be mean, they hoard resources and they don’t enjoy spending even when it is necessary. Such people tend to think about everything in terms of cost. What a sad way to live.

There is a game I conduct in my team building sessions that brings out a scarcity mentality in us. Where we believe if you get it, it means I don’t get it. That is why we have a lot of office politics, back stabbing, lack of team work and collaboration and worse still unhealthy competition. This culture has scarcity mentality as the backbone.

Things can be tight, but our attitude towards resources determine how we manage the little we have, attract much more and enjoy life.

I believe naturally there is a scramble for resources and our capitalistic society teaches us that the more we amass for ourselves the safer we are. But having understood God and his ways of operation, I have come to believe that there are resources for everyone of us so longer as we are focusing on our purposes in God.

When we speak of living in faith and not sight, it does mean we don’t work hard or we stop being aggressive, but rather it is the frame of mind that tell us, God has all I need for my life and those He has brought under my care. I just need to do my best, be a faithful steward and allow God to do the rest. And most of all, being ready to trust God when in the natural, it seems as if I am disadvantaged.

Remember these verses: God loves a cheerful giver. (Not what or how much you give but how you give). Generosity is a mentality. It is more blessed to give than to receive. (To get more, give). Generosity is not because you have enough but because you know He that blesses.

Have an abundant mentality!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Drifting Away

I can’t explain exactly how I got there. I was an alcoholic. I had started inventing stories of how I got there trying to justify myself. But I knew in my heart that I didn’t know for sure how I got there and worse still I didn’t know when I was getting there. It was not like I had set it as part of my destination but I happened to find myself there. That is how I remember something I learnt in my management course about a boiled frog.
The parable dictates that the frog is put over the fire as it swims in cold water and the woman in the story warms the water slowly. As the water gets warmer the frog relaxes until it’s boiled. I had laughed at the frog when I first heard this parable. I now laugh at myself too.

I have met people who are masters at leading astray the focused. I actually have been blamed to derail people. The thing is, the focused always fall in the trap. You hear a girl tell you something like she respects and honors men who give their lovers attention. And at that point she is referring to you. Then you will find this type of a girl wanting to get much of your time negating the value she so much values of having men attend to their lovers. 
At first you will like this girl because you feel she understands and she has morals. But if you are not careful you will find yourself spending more time with her and before long your lover will be a stranger. You will never hear this girl tell you that she can’t meet you up in the evening to give you time with your girl. No. She never does that. But the moment you have spend all your time with her she will be there to tell you how you should say hi to your wife denoting a spirit of care and concern.

I learnt this from my dad. At some point in his life he drifted away from his family. I could see it. But all the time they quarreled with my mum about the other woman, my dad would always tell me that he doesn’t understand my mum because the other woman really cares about us.
The secret is, those who want you really bad and they know they cannot get through to your heart because you love someone else will seek first to win your trust. How do the create trust? They start by showing true care and concern to the person who you love. If you are a married man, they will say to you things like, ‘I can never sleep with a married men’ or they to you suggest ways that will make you a better husband. The trick is they will never allow that to come true. This is because they will seek to consume your every free time leaving nothing for your lover. And hopefully they will be the one in your heart.

Note that this happens even with your friends whom you don't cheat on your lover with per se but you engage in emotional infidelity.
I however can trace my path to alcoholism. While in college I had problems getting to sleep. I could watch TCM movies on my 4 inch black and white screen till 5am in the morning. Sometime I would try reading or listening to music to induce myself to sleep. It never worked like I wanted. I envied my pal Carol who could sleep by eight o’clock.
Wise counsel (Lies) told me that one pint of beer could solve my problems. And they were right. I slept. I was the happiest man in the forest. Those days I used to live alone in some forest near the biggest slum in Kenya. I needed company maybe to induce me to sleep. I had gotten one. None of my closest friends could bring such comfort. Just that innocent remedy became a monster. Months later I had found myself out in the cold after a night out among other things.

Drifting takes place stealthily. It also occurs in an environment of comfort when you have a false sense of security that everything is getting on well. It occurs so fast that we hardly realize. And sometimes we even feel like it was just meant to be. We stop trying to be fight. 

But life is all about being a soldier. Being vigilant, being alert and keeping the lane. And when we detour, we must remember to get back to the track. That is what matters. I am glad am keeping on my path.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Simplify your life

It is very unfortunate that as human beings we have made life very complicated. Just check how many of your friends on facebook have their status as it's complicated and you will understand what I mean. The issue is not even relationships but generally life has become complicated.

I was sharing with a friend who was looking for closure on the issue of his dad. His dad left them when they were young and he has never forgiven him or even understood why God allowed that. And he has been carrying very heavy burdens, hurts and pains of the past. He has lived his life from the past. Looking at himself as a victim of circumstances and as a reject of life. The worst past was that he actually hated the other children who his father got from a relationship with another woman because he believes they stole from him what was rightful his.

I must say, such situations are tough and painful. When you ask yourself what it could have been had your dad been there for you. Painting all the pictures in the mind of what you missed and how you could have been a better person had your dad been there. And such mental pictures on add agony to life making the burden of the past just more unbearable.

Luckily for me when we were having our meeting, another friend of mine came and joined in the fellowship. And as we were sharing he happened to be a child of another woman. (I hope you get the picture). This guy was raised by a man who neglected his rural family and got a new wife in the city and got children and life continued. I thank God because he is a God of purpose.

And as we were fellowship, now having a deeper sight into life, we realized that there are so many things in life that we have no control of.  There are things that were done to you, that hurt you and brought much pain, but that is past and you know it was beyond you then. But now that you are here what are you doing about it?

It is so easy to carry heavy loads with us all our lives, blaming circumstances, blaming people and wishing it was better. But wisdom dictates we lay our past down and decided to live our lives all a new; to start all over again, to be grateful that we are here and that we have the power to change our future. To focus on what we can do now with what we have than to keep complaining of things we didn’t have.

Jesus says that his yoke is easy and his burden is light, that He came to give us a new life, an abundant life. And as we focus on the plans He has for us it will be easy to let go of our burdens, of our hurts and of our pains and to allow Him to breath in us a new life and a new ability to forget the past and focus on the future.

And that is how to simplify your life. To understand that today is the first day of your life, that today you can start all over again, that today you can write a different story out of your life. It is not easy but it is possible to live a simple life.

Let go of the past and its burdens and press on to your place of glory in God.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Walking on High Hills

Life is not always smooth. Sometimes we have to go through tough situations and moments where we have no clue what to do. In such instances, we have to develop a new capacity so that we can navigate through. Sometimes such capacity comes after we have made a mistake and burnt our fingers. And that should not discourage us. Just becasuse we have burnt our fingers or made mistakes should not kill the enthusiasm towards life.

They say it is how you respond to life that determine what happens to you. And I agree. Whether you are wallowing in success or stuck in a quagmire, how you respond to where you are determines how far you go. Always remember the past has past and we have the present to prepare for the future.

The best attitude is the attitude of I can do it. It is the joy of walking in high hills and climbing great mountains. Wherever you are keep moving forward.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

What is God?

If God is love, and according to 1 Cor 13 we have a description of love, then it would be accurate to say that:
God is patient
God is kind
God does not envy
God is not proud
God is not rude
God is not self seeking
God is not easily angered
God does not keep records of wrongs
God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
God always protects
God always trusts
God always hopes
God always preserves
God never fails.
And if we are being transformed to be like God, then we can replace the above traits with our names and see where we need to work on.
Be love.