Feelings!

Once there was a very small person who had feelings. They had many feelings and felt them every day. Their family liked them when they showed their feelings, so the very small person started to wear their feelings on their sleeve. One day one of the small person's parents said that they didn't like to see the FEAR feeling any more, so the small person tried to pull it off. The parent said that they would give the small person some TOUGH to cover over their FEAR. The small person found it very difficult to cover the FEAR with the TOUGH, so the other parent and the grandparents all helped. It took many days. "Now you look wonderful," said the parents when it was done. "We've covered some of your FEARS with TOUGH, and you'll grow into a strong person."

The small person grew a little older and found a friend. The friend also wore their feelings on their sleeve. The friend said one day, "My parents want me to cover up my LONELY feelings, and to be different from now on." And they were. The small person decided to cover over their LONELY feelings too, and they got ANGRY from another adult. The small person put big patches of ANGRY on top of their LONELY. It was hard work to cover over the LONELY feelings.

One day when the small person (who was now not so small) went to school some of their LONELY feelings started to show. So the teacher kept them behind and gave them some GUILT to cover their LONELY feelings. Sometimes when alone at night the person would look at their feelings. The would pull off the TOUGH and ANGRY and GUILT to look at their LONELY and FEAR. Then they would have to take a long time putting the TOUGH, ANGRY and GUILT back again.

One night the person noticed that their LONELY and FEAR were growing, and beginning to stick out from under the patches. So the person had to go out to find some more ANGRY to cover the LONELY, and got all the TOUGH that their parents could spare to cover their FEAR.

The person grew older and became very popular because everyone said that they could hide their feelings well. The person's parents said one day that they had a PROUD feeling because the person had been so TOUGH. But the person could not find anywhere to put the PROUD feeling because the TOUGH was getting so big. The person had trouble finding room on their sleeve for any other feelings - the TOUGH and the ANGRY were all that showed.

Then after a time the person met another person and they became friends. They thought that they were a lot alike because they both had only TOUGH and ANGRY feelings that showed. One day the friend told the person a secret: "I'm not really like you - my TOUGH and ANGRY are only patches to cover over my LONELY and my FEAR." The friend pulled back the edge of their TOUGH and showed the person their FEAR; just for a second.

The person sat quietly and did not speak. Then carefully they too pulled back the edge of their TOUGH and showed their FEAR. The friend saw the LONELY underneath. Then the friend gently reached out and touched the person's FEAR, and then the LONELY....... The friend's touch was like magic. A feeling of ACCEPTANCE appeared on the person's sleeve, and the TOUGH and ANGRY had become smaller. The person then knew that whenever someone gave them ACCEPTANCE, they would need less TOUGH, and then there would be more room to show PROUD..... SAD ....... LOVING.... STRONG.... GOOD.... WARM... HURT... FEAR....

Of Books And Life

I am not an educationist and I really don't know whether our education system really delivers. But I loved school. I loved school especially because it exposed me to all kind of people. And learning about people is one major life lesson. This is because people are the main component of life.

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My mother while commenting on books would say, "people are books; letters from God. You can learn a lot from people". And true to her words, people are a vast reservoir of resources and wealth. No wonder I love observing people. I love watching people. Tracking their lives. And, I do learn a lot. 

School exposed me to all kinds of people. Little flowers budding. No one really knew what life had in store for any of us. And every time I observe how life unfolds for different people, it gives me perspective. It really hits me hard when you receive the bad news that so and so is no more. Why does it always happen that those that I never imagined dead, die? Or you meet the guy who tied the knot on the number line every end term and he challenges you to the core. Life truly is unpredictable. And when the unknown becomes know in hindsight, it humbles me. Who would have known?

I have tried to reconnect with most of the people we shared something while growing up, some were my classmates, others were village mates, others were work mates while others were church mates. All kind of people. And it amazes me that I can actually pick out something valuable I learnt from them. One day I write out my lessons from different people and I am so sure many of them will not believe. I have learnt so much from people. Lessons they may never be aware they passed to me and that have stuck with me.

Last week I was thinking about this girl I schooled with in primary school. She was so academically challenged the school administration would push her to the next class just to have her clear school now that her age mates were way ahead of her. I caught up with her in class seven and she was pushed to class eight. This girl had never really passed any test in her entire life. It was such a surprise when for once she beat us all by passing the pregnancy test and graduated to the highest education, motherhood. I wonder how life eventually turned out for her. 

And as I keep reading books, interacting with people and learning from them, I have come to understand that true success is not in getting ahead of others. True success is in getting ahead of yourself.

The Tyranny Of The Next Thing

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There is a lie that humans tend to believe. That life will get better when we get the next thing. It could be the next job, the next house, the next car, the next big thing. The lie says that if only I could get this other thing, then my life will be much better.

Life is about moving forward and making progress. And true we have to keep aspiring and reaching out and getting the next thing. But when you are at it, don’t get caught up in the tyranny of the next thing that steals away the joy of the present and that postpones life’s delicacies to tomorrow.

Milk Gone Bad

I have just had a glass of sour milk. Actually truly speaking the milk got spoilt and could not make what it was intended to. Some of it was given to the pigs and we kept just a few litres for ourselves. Not everyone wants to take this milk. Some say, it is bad milk, others say it is smelly rotty. I think it is fine.

Did you know a ripe banana is a green banana going bad but we hijack the rotting process and eat them and say, hurray, that banana was yummy! That banana was fresh.

And did you know you can never eat anything fresh? Let me say that again, we eat dead things. Slaughtered animals or cut down plants. And is water dead or alive?

Others say you are what you eat. True maybe, but what are you when you are fasting. And is aging a process of keeping fresh or a process of rotting?

Things are not as they are. They are as we are.

Cheers to another glass of bad milk!

What a fresh drink!

Yummy!

Things That Change

It has been ages since I wrote here. Not just here, it has been long since I wrote an sms.  When was the last time you received a text from me? Sometimes one's crime levels upgrade and you are careful not to leave a trail of evidence behind. Or maybe I lost my mind and can no longer say something meaningful, or maybe there is no reason. It is just life happening where Instagram looks cooler than Facebook and Twitter more trendier than Linkedin. The same reason that makes milkshake more romantic than maziwa mala. Pop corns healthier than mahindi choma. It is when talking to strangers is more fulfilling than late night conversations with friends. When you scroll your phone and you have no one to ask for some loan. Thank God to *844# you can always get sorted. It is when fiction give better company, silence and solitude gives you better therapy.

There is no greater discovery than understanding what it means to be a human being. The larger percentage of the seven billion people on earth have no clue. There is just something way way way beautiful when a mortal soul touches the reality of what it means to have breath. Nothing else really matter much than being. Being human and being sure about it.

Maybe that is what I have been upto..... 

Tales From The Garbage Collector

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"How come you got a baby and you didn't tell me?" My garbage collector asked me the other day. "How did you know?" I asked. "I am your garbage collector", he retorted. Ala! Had I missed the memo? I wondered to myself...

I tend to keep to myself. To mind my own business. To lead a quiet life. You can say am a bit snobbish but am not anti-social neither am I arrogant or rude. I will say hi to people, like the gate man, the shop keeper, the mama mboga, the taxi man, the butcher man and the garbage guy. I will also engage in small talk when they are serving me, but nothing elaborate, nothing personal.

So, I found it a little intruding when the garbage guy demanded to know why I had not informed him of the new development. He says he actually felt cheated to have to discover that for himself. To find the evidence in the garbage bag.

The garbage collectors knows so much about people, more than we want to imagine. Apparently, he is the person who ends up with the evidence of our lives. He knows the kind of lifestyle a family leads. He know their attitudes, their preferences, and he has the incriminating specimens as well as the treasured lessons from each family.

As we engaged in this conversation I sought to know the kind of family we are, based on our garbage bag. I was surprised at his 3 major findings:

1. We hardly waste food. He had noted that we hardly have left overs stuck in the garbage and he wondered why. I was a bit shocked by that revelation but again it reveals who we are... a finishing generation. We eat it all. And again, economy imekuwa tight. Apparently he had noticed that very many families still waste a lot of food.
2. He never gets paper bags and plastics which are his highly sought after treasures. Thinking about it, we collects plastic bags and plastic bottles keep them. Then when we get a visitor who would benefit from such, we give them. 
3. I am the one who removes garbage. I laughed at this one. I can't remember my wife and I agreeing that I am the one to be removing the garbage, but that is a role I have played all along. 

This conversation taught me so many things about people and mostly about ourselves. That as much as we may not be close to people as we think, there is so much we can learn and teach just through observation. And there is so much our garbage bag can tell about us, more than we would be willing to expose. I was tempted to ask about other people, but then I remembered that is wrong and curiosity killed the cat. Maybe I should volunteer for a month in our estate and I will have a story about my neighbors. 

My garbage having had collected our garbage for more than 3 years, had made such a connection with us. A connection that I had no idea. He considered us family, and unfortunately to us, he was just a garbage guy. What a revelation. 

What does the content in your garbage bag say about you?

Why You Should Not Pray For Food!

We have this religious act that just gets into my nerves... mumbling some words before we take food in the name of prayer and grace. I find it very fake. If prayer is a two way communication, have you ever paused a little to get authorization from God to eat or not eat the food you have prayed for? Or you just assume since you have asked him to bless the food he has done it? Oh, and what is that part of sanctifying it? I thought that was dealt with earlier? The worst is when we ask our children to pray for food as a way of impressing the guests on the table. Don't give me that look, you know we have done that and we felt so proud.

But let me brain wash you on why you should not be praying for your meal....

It is so naive for you to pray for food for our body and ignore the junk our souls are indulging in daily. How many times have you prayed for the stuff your mind feeds on? Have you even considered that the stuff you feed on your mind needs to be sanctified? Stuff we get from the media, the philosophies of men, stuff we are taught in school and stuff from the world around us? How many times did your mind capture a dirty song just because you had to use a matatu to church? How many times did you get influenced by someone opinions from a  newspaper column that is contrary to the will of God? How many times have you responded in fear when you watch a news items instead of standing in the faith based on what God is saying? How many times have you been influenced by a soap opera or a novel or a person's experience to accept something that God say's He detests?

Whether we like it or not, we are living in the information age where our souls are offered all kind of delicacies to indulge in. Sadly, you will find people who call themselves Christians who only feed on the word of God on a Sunday from the pulpit and yet they can never fail to pray before a meal.

Even this article is trying to feed you soul, and that is why everyday we need to be careful as we interact with stuff we allow to reach our soul. And just like Daniel in the bible was offered the King's delicacies and chose to do veges, we must be selective on what our soul feeds on. There is this lie that tell people they need to be open minded and flow with whatever you are feed on. But I warn you, an open mind can easily fall of your head. You need to guard your heart, your mind and your soul. Feed yourself with something edifying!

And so the next time you are praying for your meals, first remember to pray for the meals your soul is feeding on.

God Is Our Life-Building Facilitator

I am a team building facilitator. My job requires me to coordinate experiential learning processes for teams. My role as the facilitator is to provide a safe (physically and psychologically), supportive, non-judgmental atmosphere, in which participants try to accomplish tasks beyond their self-imposed limitations.

So when a team contacts me, we do a need assessment that guides me in formulating activities and a program for them. These needs are the things that are hindering the team from performing as a team and achieving more. The activities are supposed to produce learning points in line with the needs identified. 

So as I set those challenges for the team, I have in mind what the team needs are, I have in mind what this activity seeks to achieve and I have the confidence that the team process as they do the activities, will produce the required lessons for them. The only way to assimilate the lessons from an activity is through what we call a debrief. The team sits back and starts reflecting on their process, analyzing their feelings, analyzing their actions and their responses and articulating their learning points.

When I was thinking about my work, I started thinking about how God is our life building facilitator. He know the things that are hindering us from achieving our purpose and call. And so everyday he sets challenges for us, knowing that our processes will produce learning points that if assimilated will make us a better people, able to do life as He wishes. And as much as we might feel as if a challenge is impossible, (just like my teams do all the time), when I engage with him and allow him to facilitate me, He guides me through my processes until I manage. He also knows our self-imposed limitations and He wishes we could break those limiting barriers and be the people He created us to be.

Unfortunately, we don't see it that way. Some of us shun away from challenges, some of us are not focusing on becoming better and others are prisoned by their self imposed limitations they can hardly do a thing. They are slaves.

But God is our Life Building Facilitator. Let us learn how to allow him to guide us through life, to teach us thing through our process and to trust him that though he sets ahead of us challenging things, he know that we can surely do it. 

And yeah, you must make it a habit to always do a debrief with God. Take time everyday to reflect on your learning points and allow those lessons to become part of you.

Lessons on Faith From London 2012 Olympics

London 2012 Olympics brought together countries from all over the globe. Many athletes competing could not speak one language. But that did not limit their participation.  As I was just reflecting on this thought, I realized how easy it is for the church to come to the unity of faith. You see, in any sport, the participants do not necessarily have to learn the same language, all they need to know is learn the language of the game. If it's handball, you have to know what makes it different from netball or volleyball. If it's triple jump, you need to know the drill and so with each game.

Once you understand the language of the game, whether in a global tongue like English, or in a local dialect like Kalenjin, you are good to go. And as you enter in the field to play, though speaking different tongues, all players are in essence speaking one language, the language of the game.

The Kingdom of God is bigger than our local realities, it is massive beyond the global sense. Beyond the galaxy, the seen and the unseen. And sometimes one can wonder if the maturity of the church according to Eph 4:13, will come when the church comes to the unity of faith, then will the end really come?

But following the above thinking, let us assume the journey of faith is indeed a game at the Olympics, the reality of maturity is like playing at the Olympics and the people of faith are the players. How then can we make the maturity of all saints a possible reality?

To qualify for the Olympics (maturity of faith), one has to practice, learn the language of the game and be good at it, having achieved the set standard. The language of the game in this context is the Knowledge of the Son. This means that you have to have a level of the Knowledge of the son that is substantial enough to make you qualify for maturity.

Did you realize as nations competed at the Olympic they did not send the whole country there? Everybody could not achieve the standard required to play at the Olympics! What does that mean? It means REPRESENTATION. Could it be as much as the quantum that qualifies one for maturity is unknown, the reality of representation could the secret? That as long as some people are able to achieve the set standard required, they can stand on behalf of the rest and their representation can be considered as an achievement for all? 

Back to the basic thought of this note. 

If each player, in their local reality, learnt the language of the game, and acquired the standard required to play at the Olympics, then the unity of faith we seek could become a reality. And so, the task is for me and you to strive to achieve the standard that will qualify us to play at the Olympics. To strive for the knowledge of the son that will bring us to MATURITY.

Show Me The Way I Should Go

I wish life was a one way street.... coz people like me would not get lost. But life is like a jungle, with many trails made by those who have gone before us. Just like Robert Frost once said.. we get to a junction and wonder which way to go... and as much as we tell ourselves that if this road leads us nowhere, we shall come back and take the other road, we can never really go back there. It is never the same.

Teach a child on the way he should go and when he is old... he will not depart from it...

Thinking about this verse, I have come to learn that it is not really the path that you take or the path that you are on, on the outside, but rather, it is the path you are on within you. The journey of life is an internal journey manifested through a physical life. At the end of life, how will you describe your journey? What will you have become?

And so, as we journey through life, be it on a career path or on a business path, or on a family path, or on a leadership path, the essence of the journey is that we may not lose the path. That we may not lose ourselves.

Are You Zero Grazing Your Children?

Sometimes when I look at some disinfectant TVC I get so angry. What do you mean there are germs everywhere? I am not saying there are no germs, but they are not everywhere. Unfortunately we have been brain washed to the benefit of these products.

I think some of our children are reared like the broiler chicken. Indoors, lots of junk food, limited space to walk, artificial lighting and modern gadgets. Those too are experiences, but we are all sure what the products are.

I am happy I was born in my generation where I was allowed to graze freely. The things we did can kill the today’s zero grazed child. We ate some gum from a tree I have no idea what is the English name. And it was such a delicacy. We dug beetles from cow dung by urinating in their holes to force them out. We fished tadpoles thinking they were fish. We made mud slides during the rainy seasons. We ate the roadside stones when it rained just because they smelt aromatic. Oh, and we didn’t die.

I know things have changed. We don’t have forests or rivers or even space to let our children, we cannot trust them to roam around and we are too busy. When was the last time you played with your children? Outdoor?

We are limited I know, but I still believe it is a parents responsibility to create moments and experiences for their children. It is so unfortunate that most of our children have never seen a cow giving birth, or even a cow being milked. They can neither make fire nor make tea. They have never seen a tadpole leave alone a frog. It is a sad thing.

With all our excuses, we are lucky as a country that we can give such experiences to our children if we made deliberate efforts. A friend of mine Emanzo is doing such a great work with his Bush Culture Programs. And I agree with his concept. That unless we do something and create some of  these experiences for our children, they will never understand why environment is such an important things and they may never ever understand life as they ought to.

So this coming holiday, do something with your children. And if you need help, you can always contact me to help you create experiences for you children, experiences that will remain with them for the rest of their lives.

www.teambuildingcompany.co.ke

What Is Your Claim?

If you look at brands they have a communication tagline. This tagline is what we call a claim. Now I was musing about it and I realized human beings do have taglines too. Why do brands have taglines?


Taglines are a condensed representation of the values or attributes a brand wants to be perceived as offering to the target audience. Unfortunately some of these claims are not realistic and neither are they true. But marketers know if they feed you with a claim over and over, your mind starts to think that it is a true claim and we start as we seek to fulfill the created demand and thus we end up consuming the brand.


Let us look at two big brands in Kenya and see what they claim to offer.

OMO : This is a detergent that aggressively fights for her market share. In the recent past they claimed that Dirt is good. Obviously that is a lie if dettol is to go with. Anyway, they would show kids learning how to ride bikes or learning how to play football and as they fall, they would get a badges of honor and that is how dirt is good. In the same campaign they used footballers (Samuel Etoo) to endorse the brand. Who doesn't want their kids to succeed? According to OMO let your kid get as dirty as they can, that is the way to succeed. In my words, let your kids get as dirty as they can, you will only end up using more OMO for the meantime. By the time you realize dirt aint good and your kids cloths are something else, OMO will have come up with another claim... Fights Dried In Stains... who is laughing now?


Let us look at another brand


Coke: Always Refreshing. Life gets monotonous and boring for most of us. And as we engage with what we do we get drained and dehydrated. Knowing water is the best beverage to hydrate, Coke tells you to get refreshed always and so they model that bottle adorned with ice cold sweat that makes you crave for one. That is the claim that water no matter how healthy cannot beat so easily. And that is why it is easy to grab a cold soda over a cold glass of water. Then realizing that people are becoming more health conscious, BRRRRRR came in the picture. We want something exciting to shake us from the inside. And that campaign was a success. And before we realize there is nothing BRRRR about a cold coke, they came up with now what is here... open happiness. Now what is this? Ok, this is fantasy. And subconsciously we are looking for some open happiness... Something liberating, something beyond. Are we still talking about quenching thirst? You tell me...


In a nutshell, that is the power of a tagline, a claim.


Most human beings unfortunately do not have a conscious claim. But of yoy stick around a person you will hear something they say way too often.. Let me sample a few, life is hard, life is boring, I can't do that. I wish I was... I wish I had, If only, I will be happy when... Someday I will...


I believe your claim whether conscious or unconscious will define what you offer life and how your surrounding configure themselves for you. As earlier said, a claim may not be true, but as we consistently engage with it, it starts defining so many things for us.


Having thought about this, my claim for this season is living a great story.

So, what is your claim?

Accounting For Life - IFRS 99

Someone said that we live life forward but understand it backward. And I must say that statement has some element of truth. When I was thinking about this I realized life is more like an accounting profession.

The other day my friends and I went to some pricey restaurant to devour some international cuisine. It was one of those things you do once in a year because for sure we don't work for the stomach but for other things as well. The meal was orgasmic as much as the pleasure was short lived once the bill was presented.

Then we started discussing about giving a tip. My friends are all trained accountants. So obviously no one was willing to give a tip. So I asked how come accountants are that mean they are not willing to give a tip? It's at that point I was corrected. Accountants are not mean; it is just that they have to match each expense to a budget line. Unfortunately in the accounting system, they don’t have an entry for tips. 

The dilemma is, how do you account for a tip? The amazing thing is even when you are on official duty and you have been given some money to use, if you give tips to those who serve you, when you go back to the office, you are not reimbursed the tips you gave. The principle is, match all your expenses to a budget line and provide documentation for the same.

That is a stressing life.

Lucky are the accountants, for when we get to heaven it will be easy for them. The bible says, and each one of us shall give an account for their lives. And all those of you who think matching your expenses to a budget line and providing documentation is a lot of work, woe unto you. How will you account for your life?

So, I have come up with an International Financial Reporting Standard IFRS 99 – Accounting for Life as a guideline for you as you prepare your books when your financial year finally ends and you life stops being a going concern or is liquidated.

·         Create your budget lines – Love, forgiveness, kindness, faithfulness, integrity, stewardship, fruitfulness among others

·         Match your expenses to a budget line –For example, when you incur hatred, show love, when you are wronged, forgive.

·         Finally, provide documentation – Let your life be a testimony!

Make My Day

You know those days when something special happens in your day and you go... this just made my day. Sometimes it’s just an act of kindness, a funny joke or a gesture of humanness.

Life can be so ordinary that we find ourselves going through the motions.

As the year starts, I was asking myself what do I do that everyday I will have that moment of .. this or that made my day.What do I do?

Then I remember the verse that say, This is the day that the Lord has MADE, I will rejoice and be glad in it. This means that, my day is already made J

At the end of it all the lesson is to look at the ordinary with a special eye.

I would have loved this note to make your day, but I am glad that the Lord has made a day for you. REJOICE

The Hiding People

One thing I miss about my childhood is the playing part. When I think about it now, I see how creative we would get and how sometimes a game would turn out to be frustrating, especially when you can’t agree on the rules or when other kids outdo your creativity.

 When we were younger we would play hide and seek with my brother and at times it would be boring when we ran out of hiding places. But I remember the first time my brother hid in the cupboard and I could not find him. How did he think of replacing the sack of flour with himself?  The competitive me was very frustrated. How can my younger brother outdo me in hiding? Then the day our friend hid by climb a tree just above where we were counting, and I could not find him yet all the other children could see him. I opted out of the game when finally I announce the imaginary cup ‘trophy’ was his. Ooh, and the days we would start a new game within a old one just to eliminate some kids we don’t like.

Now when I think about life, there seems to be a continuation of the hide and seek game. Listen to teenagers and their folks hiding from each other on Fb, or the tout and the dere checking out for the cops, or guy who is on the phone in town checking out kanju. It’s hide and seek all over. Have you noticed how Kenyans are always way ahead of themselves? Just listen to them on the phone while in the bus. Niko Valley Road and at that time you haven’t reached yaya yet on your way to town. Anyho that the hide and seek game I am talking about. Have you listen to or watched programs like busted or cheaters? It’s just a partner seeking their hiding partner… the game continues.

Then we have those who hide in God. They are known so well because of their consistency in bible study and prayer meetings. They preach, lead worship and they are baptized. And we can’t touch them because they are in God. But wait until you find them, they are just the same old sinner; having no sense of fear of God, but just using God as a cover to do all that they are doing. What happened to being real? I know we are not perfect but don’t project what you are not, just be yourself. A time comes when we run out places to hide, or we get caught, and everything comes shattering down.

There is something I love about real people; the kind who just live their life honestly, with integrity and in truth. From experience, the truth can cause trouble, cause terror, humiliate, hurts or even weigh heavy on you but the truth is, it sets free. When we learn to live an open life, with no hiding, no closet, no skeleton, then we live full lives. But the big question is, where and how do you start? It’s like asking a lady who is used to wearing make up to start living without some.

An open truthful life can be hard to start living, but once you find your rhyme and sync, then you realize it was not as hard as it seemed.

Maintaining The Evens

I know you have heard about beating all odds, but today I want to talk about maintaining all evens. I have always wondered whether for a story to be a success story there must be odds to beat. I don’t get it.

Look at most of the people we know who are successful. It’s either they were abused, molested, abandoned, rejected, rebellious, divorced among other odds. It’s like a plot to a great story needs to be complicated. And it is these complications that form the odds that need to be beaten for a happy successful ending.

What happens to those who keep it even? Why is it that if a woman is successful and yet she maintained her family all through, she won’t be a great story like one who is equally successful but who could not maintain her marriage. Or why is it a pastor’s child who turns out perfect will not find any recognition like one who turns pathetic?

We live our lives not for recognition but that we may add value to the society. And therefore, we must not be lied to that successful people have very complicated lives. That is just a lie. We are a generation that does not celebrate simplicity, ordinary and normalcy. But there is much beauty in such a life. And there are successful people who have maintained the evens. It’s just that they may not be as recognized as those who beat the odds.

As a friend of mine once tweeted; try faithfulness cheating is too easy, I too would want to challenge us try maintaining the evens beyond beating the odds.

Maintaining the evens is equally challenging as beating the odds.

Would you Apply?

The most unfortunate thing about life is that we find ourselves in it. In a place we didn't ask to be, with some aspects of our lives that we may not have the capacity to change. We just find ourselves in here.


Assume we got back in time, with what you know now, would you apply to be born given a chance? Would you choose your gender? Would you choose your father? Would you choose you mother? Would you choose the place you were born?


For a long time I used to say, if I were given a chance to apply to be born on earth, I would have requested for a pass. No second thinking. I would not have chosen to be born. Period.


The fortunate thing is, I didn't have a chance to chose. But instead God chose me. He chose my gender, he chose my father, he chose my mother and he chose the place I would be born.
And now that I know that, I am at peace with life. I don't look at any aspect of my life as an accident or as an unfortunate thing, but as a design from God. The processes I went through were not hapharzard, but a crafting of God, moulding my path into who I am. Isn't that wonderful?


And now that I am empowered to make choices of the life I want to live, I have learnt to enquire from my manuacturer, because from the look of things, He is better positioned to know what I need and where I should go and what I should do than I can ever think.


Truly you don't know yourself until God tell you who you are. And that is all you need. God.

The Broken Vessel

God is looking for a broken people to use. A broken heart and a contrite spirit He won’t despise. Unfortunately we have become broken vessels.

What’s the difference you ask?

A broken vessel is the kind that leaks, the kind that cannot contain. And so when God deposits His treasure in such a vessel, within no time everything is lost. Such kind of a vessel will only waste great resources achieving nothing for God.

We need to be vessels of honor for God. Vessels that are able to hold the treasures released from God. These treasures include His word, His values, His Grace and His blessings. But never should we get familiar with God. We ought to appreciate the fact that we are only vessels and so we must always have a broken heart.

Let us be vessels of honor with a broken heart and not a broken vessel with a golden heart.

When I Look at Them

If there is one thing I have learnt from my simple complicated life is how to look at people. There are different grids through which human being view other human beings. These include tribe, nationality, religion, skin color, body type, sexuality, social class, up bring among other. There is also a tendency to view other human beings informed by the way we perceive ourselves.

But I have learnt to see myself in other people. Regardless of whom it is, I see their struggles, their dreams and their humanness just like me. A person who has a life to live, questions to find answers to, a heart to be loved and accepted, a quest to have a good life and a hope in the future. At the point, every other aspect just wither away.

When I look at people I want feel them.

Growth that Drifts

I have observed how easily a couple can drift. Actually it is not a drift per se, but the kind of growth that occurs in the due course of life that drifts the couple. It is very easy to become strangers with your spouse or just project cordinators, having the family as the project. So that the engagement between you and your spouse is that of arranging and managing activities. And as much as we have roles and activities in our marriages, we must be careful that we don't reduce the meaning of our union to that.


Many couples start life at the same level, spiritually, financially, socially and in most times economically. And at times, being on the same level makes it easy for the couple to engage together in all spheres of life. But as life progress, I have observed that some couples do not grow together. It is very important for the couple to grow together.


Husbands have a tendency of growing and leaving their wives behind. So bad such that it becomes hard to engage with your wife intellectually and socially. I have seen husbands who cannot bring their wives to the company party because they feel she will be a let down. Or a pastor who cannot have his wife share even a verse, because he is afraid the wife can't match up the expectations. I have also seen wives who settle down and refuse to grow. The start putting less focus on how they look, they feel it's a waste of time learning a new skill or developing a talent and thus they depreciate.


Couples are supposed to be friends for life. They should therefore learn to cultivate their friendship with their spouses, upgrading one another so that at anytime they can be able to walk together and engage with one another in all spheres of life. Let it be said of you that you are one, in mind, in love and in life.


Let us all grow together.